Wednesday, March 10, 2010


When a theist's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of witnessing.

Here in the Northland, early spring means potholes (which are especially delicious and expensive this year), refuse and dog poo revealed by melting snow, and piles of sand left behind by the plow. It also means it's warm enough to peddle your religion, magazine scam, or pet cause. March 8 is usually a little earlier than I expect these sorts of visits, and I certainly was not expecting one on a Monday evening at 8:00.

Around the time I was expecting daddywhumpus home from rehearsal, there was a knock on the front door. I thought that perhaps he was just knocking so babywhumpus and I could answer and a cute scenario could unfold.

Nope. It was two middle-aged men, inviting me to bible study. There I am with my baby on my hip, trying to keep my cat from running out the door, and they are yammering about salvation through Christ and the Bible. It's 35 degrees out, which is warm for Minnesota at this time of year but is not meant for standing around in street clothes. Or, in Finn's case, a white Onesie and brown fuzzy boots that he wanted to wear. It's dark, to boot.

They did their spiel and asked if I would be interested. I said "no." They asked if I had read the Bible. I said that I was brought up Lutheran and went through the whole thing. They said that reading the Bible as it is is much different than being brought up in it. They asked again if I was interested. I said "no." They asked if there was a reason. I said "We're atheists."  (They asked.)

They looked mildly surprised then asked if there was a reason for our atheism. I said it was a gradual process. They were pretty cordial, so I was too. I figure it's good PR. I even kept it to myself, wanting to ask if I should be consulting the Bible about how to treat my household slaves or deal with my adultress daughter. I figured it wasn't helpful.

But don't you think that 8:00 at night on a Monday is a bad time to be cruising the neighborhood, even if it is for Jesus?

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